Here I explain how to pull yourself out from your current state, restructure your position, and get rid of the unnecessary to create a foundation for something new and meaningful.
Understanding Your Foundation
What defines the life of men? The elements, nature, context, and environment. Man is the top of the food chain, the most powerful predator on planet Earth. Why? Because we have acquired adaptability. We adapt better than other animals and can survive in any conditions—Inuit in the Arctic, Africans in savannas, Papuans in jungles, Filipinos by water bodies. We are all products of this adaptation. Look at your culture and people and understand what allowed them to survive and cope with situations. This is adaptation.
Beyond environment, we are shaped by the people around us. Modeling surrounding authorities and dominant individuals—whether men or women—affects us profoundly. This is observed in any family: boys grow up to resemble their fathers, girls resemble their mothers. Want to know what your wife will be like? Talk to her mother, and in 20-30 years you will see the same woman. It’s quite obvious.
Deeper still lies heredity and trauma. Gabor Maté, author of “The Myth of Normal,” states that traumas are hereditary and fundamental. I call traumas the totem of the soul. Indigenous Americans have totems—in the movie “Brother Bear,” a boy turns into a bear, his totem. I suggest looking at your traumas as a totem that shapes you. The totem is already standing, but you must build around it so that it becomes a support and foundation.
Genetics are undoubtedly important, but trauma is the key link. Traumas precede genetics. According to Gabor Maté: great-grandmother, great-grandfather, their children, their children, and then you. What your predecessors experienced, you continue. This is similar to reincarnation in “Avatar”—we are all descendants of people who experienced certain traumas. A grandson inherits traumas from a great-grandfather. Adaptation to traumas can be either an advantage or a disadvantage, depending on the environment you’re in.
And then there is stress. Regardless of the environment, modern life is full of stress, more mental than physical. Stress is any pressure that depletes resources. Urban stress differs from rural stress, but stress exists everywhere. No one lives without it. A certain degree of stress is beneficial—otherwise, atrophy sets in, which can be worse than excessive stress.
Your Position in the World
What defines a man’s position in society? Social position, as with all primates, varies in every culture. Each culture values different qualities: strength, intelligence, appearance, style. Understand the environment you want to operate in. Don’t play games where you can’t win. If you play chess, don’t come with checkers.
All primates have a hierarchy. In any group, everyone has a role, and the role of the dominant changes—a small gorilla can punish a large one. We must play games where our position does not weaken over time. A successful investor can win until 100 years old, like Charlie Munger. Sports or bodybuilding do not give long-term advantages. Not everyone becomes Schwarzenegger.
Stress demands coping—methods for overcoming stress that become embedded in personality formation. Each person develops their own coping methods. Coping can result in dependencies, workaholism, or compulsive working. A productive dependency can be beneficial, but it remains a dependency. People will compensate and overcome stress no matter what. Any activity you do by default—for me, the computer and everything related to it—is often a coping method.
Understanding Your States
We possess different states, and it’s necessary to identify yours. I understood this at 17: who I am with friends, with girls, for family. It is important not to mix states and retain your core.
Language plays a crucial role here. The human essence does not change—we haven’t changed much over the last 600 years. States formed, industrialization arrived, corporatism emerged—society changed, but not people. Language is a closed universe of concepts that determines mutual understanding. Language carries deep meanings understood at the existential level. We are different in different languages, because another language means a different cognitive structure.
Personality flexibility and brain neuroplasticity are proven scientific facts. Brain flexibility declines if not continuously strained. This is why maintaining multiple states requires ongoing effort.
We are all slaves to life because we do not live by our own will. No one chose to live, and no one chooses to die. We define our states and must establish willpower toward achieving the state we want. Understand what state you want to be in and develop it.
The state of capability and power is a product of the endocrine system, physical constitution, state of mind, cognitive setup, and decisive actions. The endocrine system is hormones that determine behavior. Male indicators like beard and muscles are linked to the endocrine system. The state of mind is the state of victory achieved by cognitive setup. To win, you need to set yourself up for victory and put your life on the line.
The Factory Reset Process
First, define boundaries: where you came from, where your behavioral patterns originated. Work on therapy to understand the nature of your states and get rid of the unnecessary. Trauma is a totem of the soul, and you need to gain strength through it.
Next, buy yourself time by entering a state of productivity. Reaching a state where you can work and achieve something, you prioritize yourself. Feel your needs and understand where you are going.
Then comes the reset itself. By acquiring the necessary state and cleaning everything, you free up space for calibration. Calibrating the endocrine system and eliminating dependent patterns helps build new ones. Neuroplasticity is the ability to create anew.
Calibrate the body. Eliminate everything created after the agricultural revolution, monitor water and air, eliminate carbohydrates, switch to carnivory. Eliminate plant foods as they can be toxic. Focus on animal food, eliminate sugars, switch to fats. Enter ketosis, burn fats, improve brain performance. Switching to carnivory and fasting will help you slow down aging and regenerate cells. Practice intermittent fasting, drink fluids and electrolytes, and prepare simple but quality food for yourself.
Calibrate the environment. Get rid of unnecessary things, alcohol, coffee, and remove labels. Create an environment conducive to your actions. For instance, place a kettlebell in the bathroom and exercise every time you go there. This helps keep your focus from scattering.
Optimize for focus. Use noise-cancelling headphones, listen to Binaural Beats and Lo-Fi, clean dock menus, use password managers. Universal mail and mail forwarding services help you avoid spam and maintain privacy.
Establish sleep hygiene. No tech in the bedroom. The bedroom is only for sleep, sex, and relaxation. Avoid using phones in bed.
Moving Forward
The process is gradual. Add new elements to your life, experiment, find optimal methods. Reassemble yourself, get results, create a new foundation.
What brought you here won’t take you further. You need new methods, new practices, and new ideas.